Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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