I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
