Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
