I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
