Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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