Heybabeimwearingurpanties
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
