i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
