Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
