New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
