Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
