2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
