No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
