And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
