Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
