I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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