That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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