Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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