Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize