You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
