His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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