Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
