eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
