But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
