AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
