Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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