she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
