do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
