i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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