physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Randomize
