i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
