God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
