He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
