After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
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