Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Randomize
