HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
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