Screwed.edu
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
