that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
