he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
