school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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