Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
