You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
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