so that wasnt chicken after all
and she was petting her beer can
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
