ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Is it because I queefed?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize