But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
