actually, I'm a sock model
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
