The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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