butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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