This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
