I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
