her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
