That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i think im in europe. pls send help
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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