very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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