I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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