Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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