I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
