so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
