me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
