They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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