Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
