I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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