Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
