Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
