well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
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