I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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