Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
third nipple confirmed
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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