And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
