Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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