Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
kristin has been a bad kristin
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
