she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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