He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
