Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
